Impatience with God’s Timing
Do you ever just want to say “I don’t care”? Not an “I don’t care” that’s apathetic, but an “I don’t care” laced with anger and frustration.
The serenity prayer starts “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” I don’t want serenity and acceptance; I want change. I want God to step up to the plate and fix the things I can’t.
(So I’m typing this on my phone and autocorrect changed God to Food in that last sentence, which is ironic because I tend to use food to avoid the pain, too, and that is something He has given me the power to change.)
My response to my desire for God to fix everything NOW is to impatiently say “I don’t care” in an attempt to mask the pain.
I feel a bit like the Psalmist who often asked “How long, O Lord?” I guess I’m in good company in my impatience with God’s timing. Even the saints under the altar in Revelation 6 cried out to God, wanting to know “How long?” They were told to wait; I am told to wait. In the process of waiting, I’m learning God’s timing is perfect even if I don’t understand it.
Some things never change, or so it seems from my limited point of view. I believe God has a plan, is working in His timing, and will answer my prayers for change. And so like the father of the possessed boy in Mark ch. 9, I exclaim “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (NIV).
The waiting, I think, is most challenging when you see a glimmer of hope, a sliver of change when a crisis brings someone to the end of their rope. But then the crisis is diverted and you see the change wasn’t all that you thought it was. Or at least it doesn’t seem so on the outside. That’s when I have to remember that God sees the heart; I’m looking only at external factors.
So the next time you hear me say, “I don’t care,” don’t believe it. I care much too deeply and am simply feeling impatient. Perhaps you could remind me that means it’s time to pray and trust.
Nice post; nice blog.
As a person who used to pray every morning, “Lord, kill me. Just kill me,” I know He will answer your prayer. You will die daily, and yes, it will be painful until Galatians 2:20 becomes a reality in your life. It is worth it!
Thanks. Christ does live in me and helps me see things from His perspective. I do know He will answer my prayers when the time is right. I write about my struggles with impatience to hopefully help others who struggle, too.
I love it when someone like you writes a post that gets me really reflecting on myself. Thanks
I’m glad you found a blessing in my rant. Honesty about our struggles of faith are important, I think.
Linda, I’m in your boat. Waiting, praying, trusting for Change to happen in a loved one’s life. Were it not for HOPE….
That’s why I love Psalm 27:13…”I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. 14Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”
What a wonderful promise of God! Thank you for sharing that verse of hope.
I’m going through a similar time as well with a loved one. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to fix it. All I have is hope. All I have is prayer. All I have is Jesus. I love the verse you shared. It helps me to hold on to that hope and to wait patiently for the Lord.