The Beginnings of a Poem

This is the beginning of a poem I’m sharing for Meeting the Bar at dVerse Poets Pub, following the Oulipo option from Anna. Playing with language and poetry rules, I’m writing a poem with the following self-imposed rules:

  1. It’s a Terza Rima with 26 stanzas plus the ending line
  2. It’s in the style of a Hebrew acrostic, like Psalm 119, so that each stanza begins with a successive letter of the alphabet—in this case, the English alphabet
  3. Each stanza begins with a name or characteristic of God
  4. Each line is 7 syllables, because 7 is the number of perfection
  5. The first line and the ending line end with the word “love” because God is love

Anyway, it’s not finished. It’s much more than a 48-hour project. But I wanted to share what I have so far, the first 7 stanzas, and get some feedback. One thing I can’t decide is whether to use “Thy, Thee, and Thou” throughout or the more modern “You and Your.” This version uses Thy, etc.

Oh, and it doesn’t have a title yet. Here it is.

Adonai, my Lord of love
How I long to see thy face
Alight on me, Holy Dove

Bread of Life, strength for the race
Thy Word, my faith sustain me
Resting, resting on Thy grace

Creator, who made the tree
Sun and moon, all life, mankind
Thou gave us but one decree

Deliverer, oh so kind
Even though I break Thy law
Giving sight when I am blind

Elohim, I kneel in awe
Before Thy majestic throne
In Thee is nary a flaw

Father, mercy Thou hast shown
To Thy undeserving child
Though to wander I am prone

Good Shepherd, meek and mild
Keep me in Thy safe lockup
Bring me back when I’m beguiled

 

About Linda Kruschke

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.
This entry was posted in Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to The Beginnings of a Poem

  1. This is beautiful and I agree that the formal Thy, Thee, Thou suits your re-telling. Looking forward to more.

    Like

  2. Debbie says:

    Wow . . .what a challenging poem to write, but it is beautiful! I like the Thy in it too . ..just seems to work good and sound right. God bless!

    Like

  3. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    It has certainly got off to a good start! I think ‘thou’ and ‘thy’ more in keeping with the tine.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. billgncs says:

    I think that the psalms are especially beautiful, and you have captured the spirit here. I always that would be a good prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The way you constrict and use all those restrictions make it come out the more beautiful..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like the use of Thee, Thou, Thine. It’s very lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Anna says:

    This is a beautiful representation of your faith and relationship. Your diction adds reverence so I don’t think you need to switch to the modern you and your. Good luck with the rest, you’ve got good constraints to guide it!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You rock, Kruschke, you rock!

    Liked by 1 person

I love comments, so be sure to let me know what you think about this post below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s