Into the Darkness – A Bout Rimés Poem
The prompt today at dVerse Poets Pub is to play the game of Bout Rimés, which is to write a poem written with a list of ending rhyme words supplied today by none other than Tony Maude. It sounded fun, so I decided to give it a try. I have to admit I was a little surprised by where this list of words led me.
Into the Darkness
Into the darkness my Charger does drive
I have my little dog here by my side
Longing for a reprieve from this dark night
He said we could get there by one, he lied
In the darkness of my soul wars I wage
Wondering if we will ever be saved
This hell we are in is one I have made
I can see the fear upon his cute face
What we need most is a highly skilled nurse
Or perhaps to locate a faith-filled church
Could there be a fate we’d consider worse
Than losing the gun I’ve hid in my purse
We can only go forward, never back
In the darkness ahead, we can see that
I love the closing line! “In the darkness ahead, we can see that.” There are some hard truths to be learned from the darkness. Smiles.
it may just be the darkness that leads us to believe we can never go back, but I suppose that depends on whether the light of the sun that eventually will rise will shine bright enough to see the truth behind the war raging within. (forgive my rambling, but I feel something more hidden in this story than what is on the surface…and often have a tendency to ramble on.)
the dog, the he who lied, the we, the cute face…have me pondering whether there is a third entity in the car (and if so who does the cute face belong to) or if by chance the dog can talk.
this piece has my brain running in overdrive. I apologize for the inane rambling a that have ensued, but I hope you take it as a compliment that your piece has inspired such in only 14 lines.
I don’t mind the rambling at all. You all some good questions, most of which will never be answered. I can tell you the cute face belongs to the dog. Everything else must remain a mystery. Thanks for this quote interesting comment. Peace, Linda
I see Bonnie and Clyde with a dog in the car. I also sense an underlying message in this one. Awesome write! Visual and thought-provoking!
Quite a journey.. I’m glad you had the dog for company and support. As others have said, that gun took me by surprise, made me realize how serious this trip is to her.. the hell of my own making.. great line. Nicely penned.
Thanks. I’m glad you liked it. It’s a bit different than my usual poetry, but I thought this prompt was quite interesting. Peace, Linda
The gun was a bit of a shock…we do make our own hells, though and who knows where we’ll end up? I just hope she doesn’t use it. So well done. Thank you.
Ha! I’m not sure she hasn’t already – why else would she not be able to go back? Thanks for stopping by. Peace, Linda
Well done, Linda 🙂
Wow, the first word being “drive”, the majority of us got into cars and raced off on some adventure or other; this one conforms to sonnet form, I think, as well, so good on you. I liked the twist ending; good job on the prompt.
Glenn, I started out in a car – a Dodge Charger – but the rest of the journey seemed to drive itself. 🙂 Peace, Linda
Oh those hells of our own making. The incorporation of a dog really added to the emotion of this piece.
Fear of the unknown is a powerful – if unwanted – driver. Good the little dog was there to offer strength and companionship. Forever forward – until we see the light in our darkness.
It is funny, isn’t it, how poems can sometimes take us to very unexpected places? This poem is a journey in more ways than one.
Cleverly done – alone on a night trip with a dog – ever onwards, for sure.
this hell we are in is one i have made…lots of truth in that line…we oft make our hells…what a story you spun…we make one decision and the slope is slippery and the next thing you know we have a gun on us and heading toward god knows what…
The gun took me by surprise, but why not? After all, the gun is the contemporary equivalent of the sword, so the metaphor is the same.
Yes, it took me by surprise, too. But I like the way you looked at it. Thanks for such a great prompt, regardless of whether the words were perfect rhymes. 😉 Peace, Linda
..certainly an uneasy feeling and continuing to move the only thing you can do…can feel the suspense..
I’m guessing that the little dog by your side is a comfort on such a dark night!
Oh, yes, he is always a comfort. 🙂 Peace, Linda
the gun hid in your purse – i surely wasn’t expecting this… sometimes we bring ourselves into situations that are not easy to escape… moving forward is a good thing – and hey – what about that special sword against the darkness…? smiles
Claudia, I wasn’t expecting that either! I was thinking about that special sword, but that is so often my go-to answer (and it is the best answer) and somehow I wanted to capture a moment before there was any real knowledge of that option. 🙂 Peace, Linda