Swirling thoughts implode upon each other
in a dance I can’t control though I try
to refocus emotions that smother
radiant heat of sun high in blue sky
I wrestle with questions wondering why
my life filled with memories of trauma
center stage twirling mind bending drama
into a new day as triggers abound
I cling to what came after the comma
my Savior’s voice a sweet comforting sound
I’m so excited to try a new poetry form today. It’s called a Dizain. Grace provided a lesson in how to write one yesterday at dVerse Poets Pub. The Dizain is one stanza consisting of 10 lines, with 10 syllables per line, and the rhyme scheme is ababbccdcd. Easy peasy, right?
I like your rhymes and works so well to your final affirmation of faith.
Thanks. I really like the rhyme scheme of this form.
“I cling to what came after the comma”–I love that line. (K)
Your poem resonates and there is relief in that last line that is effective.
Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.
You are welcome.
I think the dizain lends itself to being split in half, but you change pace at the end of the 4th line, which throws it a little off balance. For me that emphasises the initial questioning and confusion, and then the ending brings resolution.
You handled it beautifully; well crafted in all ways. I particularly like the use of the word ‘comma’ in a poem which neither has nor needs punctuation!
Thanks! I hadn’t really thought of that. I love when readers see something in a poem that the poet didn’t consciously intend.
I is nice you found a life raft to fit your suffering. Well written.
I like the resolution in the last line to all the why questions.