Anger Gone Awry

She told me I had a right to be angry
And so anger became my constant companion

Thoughts of self-defense courses fled
I dwelt on thoughts of revenge instead
I was obsessed with Murderous meditations

If I had a gun I’d shoot him
If I had a gun I’d shoot him
If I had a gun I’d shoot him
Like a never-ending echo

I wrote in my Journal my bloodthirsty plan
I’d line up Mike and Russ and all the others
I’d blindfold them and shoot them all
with hollow point bullets
Aren’t they more painful than regular bullets

In hindsight, reading this Journal entry
I wonder if the blindfold represented
my deep longing for Mercy
They wouldn’t see death coming

My plan never came to fruition
which is probably just as well
God’s plan of forgiveness
released me from my hell

I know that what they did was wrong
but vengeance is not mine
It would consume my life
if I let anger my pain prolong

I may have a right to be angry
yet anger gone awry
is no saving grace

So I choose peace


Thursday will be Open Link Night at dVerse Poets Pub and I will be linking this poem. I was going to wait to post it until then but changed my mind.

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.


33 Responses

  1. I love your message here. These opening lines set it up perfectly:
    “She told me I had a right to be angry
    And so anger became my constant companion”
    I’ve seen that happen too many times. When a person become “entitled” to his or her anger, it becomes very hard to let that feeling move along. Letting go of anger is even more important than recognizing and expressing it. JMHO, of course.

  2. This is an intense and lovely piece, Linda. It is OK to be angry But forgiveness is the braver thing to do, and even when it seems an impossible thing to do, somehow, God pulls us through.

  3. Wow! The repetition of the phrase puts it in our head and we can feel the torment here. I like and appreciate the movement to resolve, redemption, and peace at the end. I think for people who are haunted with anger and revenge, whatever the horrible circumstances that cause those feelings, it is a real journey “to the other side” and your words have traced that well. Thank you for sharing this post.

  4. Forgiveness is for the brave and recognising that anger and ‘unforgiveness’ only eats at the self. However wrong the wrongs, the best healing comes from setting yourself free. So glad you found God to help you with this and for seeing that punishing the wrongdoers only draws you into that energy you so want to be free from.

  5. If I had a gun I’d shoot him” ~ the repetition of these words made the piece brim of angst. BUT it is such a relief to read that last line. Indeed, it is much better to choose peace.

  6. Eschewing violence for peace is a step of full of deep wisdom.
    “You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger” The Buddha

  7. Forgiveness can be your saving grace…to move forward from the pain. Otherwise we are still the victims for life. You are a brave woman, Linda. (((hugs)))

  8. Oh Linda, this is so emotive, such raw openness in your poem here, I agree sometimes we have trouble containing anger and resentment and yes I too feel like shooting with a gun (if you know what I mean) But thankfully we are led to the path of forgiveness and peace.. eventually <3

    Beautifully penned.

    Lots of love,

    • I’m glad I never did either. When I think about how I felt for so long, the violence we see in our world doesn’t surprise me so much. It’s sad that more don’t find the path of forgiveness.

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