Outside Square One – A Poem

I wrote the first part of this poem in July 1996 in my journal. I was looking back at some of my old poetry, most of which is quite depressing. Not surprising since I was quite depressed at the time I wrote it.

But as I read over this poem, I realized that it was not finished. I am no longer in that place “outside square one.” I decided it was time to finish the poem.

The part of the poem in red was written in 1996. The part of the poem in blue I wrote this past weekend, though the events that the latter part is based on happened many years ago.

Outside Square One

Here I stand outside square one
With my back to it, I want to run

Here I stand outside square one
Looking in, I see a narrow path
Leading to square two

Square two is where I want to be
It’s full of happiness and security

But I cannot reach square two
By standing here outside square one
With my back turned to it

What if I take the wrong path?
Travel through square one
To a square less than none?

What if I end up in a place
Where I can’t even see square one?
Where only sadness and insecurity reside
Where I feel lost and empty inside?

Will I find my way back here
To stand outside square one?
Full of fear to step inside
Wanting only to run?

Could I see in, step in
And follow the narrow path to square two?

Then I see Him; His face shines bright
He calls to me of peace and light
“Follow Me and fear will flee.
Come to Me and you will see.”

The path is clear from one to two
And on beyond to a square
called Three
The square where I truly want to be

Where hope and faith, love and joy
Will never leave me
And I no longer want to run

I am in the presence of the Son,
My Father, and the Holy One

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.

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7 Responses

  1. Thanks, Linda!

    ‘Back to Square One’ has taken a whole different meaning 🙂 Nice that you finished it so many years later. That’s really cool 🙂

    Sometimes holding onto the familiar things seem to be the best way out but He still calls us to come up higher. I’m thankful!

    Is it me or does the blue look alive and vibrant? 🙂

    Glad you shared this 🙂 I’ve been contemplating posting stuff from way back then but I’m still a little shy. Eden’s idea has me thinking and now you’re making me thing even more.

    Blessings!
    ann

    • Ann, Yes, I think the blue does look alive! I knew I needed some way to easily distinguish the old from the new and I think the colors accomplished that nicely. I can be a little scary sharing my old poetry, but it just seemed like the right time. Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 Peace, Linda

      • I look forward to reading more, Linda 🙂

        God bless your heart for releasing this. Someone reading may be sitting on square one afraid to take the next step forward. Praying He provides breakthrough through what you have been obedient to share!

        He does make all things new. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQfc7iQecw8 ” You make all things new and I will follow You forward!”

        P.S . The colour shows up bluish purple / royal blue on my screen. It’s very pretty.

        🙂
        ann

    • Wow! I’ve heard of getting two thumbs up, but never three! Thanks. It was pretty cool how God led me back to the poem and the idea to finish it. I was surprised by the “narrow path” that I wrote of in the original part, never thinking of the narrow gate that Jesus says we must go through. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. Peace, Linda

  2. I wanted to push the like and rate buttons a zillion times . . .but I resisted. So I’ll just tell you YAY!!!! I’m blown away that you wrote that back then. . .and then now He brings you to it and lets you finish it. Wow! Linda, would you mind sharing some of what was going on in the first part? Did you know Jesus then? Or did you know Him and started writing this, just to show how someone or yourself might feel before hand? It really touches me . . .all of it. And the ending is just perfect. 🙂 God bless you and all the ways He testifies of His goodness and grace through you! love, deb

    • Deb, I had a feeling you would like this poem. It was pretty amazing how He brought me back to it just this weekend and reminded me that it didn’t end there. At the time I wrote this I was a Christian. I had been baptized about 7 years before, though I’d believed in God and Jesus since I was a kid. But when I wrote this I was going through major clinical depression. I believed but didn’t spend any time in the Word or even going to church. I hadn’t really given my life to Him. That didn’t happen until 1998! Oh what a happy day that was!! It’s very interesting for me to read my journal from when I was really depressed. It seems like a completely different person. And I guess I was because He has made me a new creation! He is, indeed, full of goodness and grace! No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

      This all reminds me of something I read in a comment several months ago. “The man with an experience will never be at the mercy of the man with a theory.” I have experienced what God can and does do for those who choose to follow Him. He even sometimes starts working in our lives before we’ve even made that decision. 🙂 And that, my friend, is the sign of a good and merciful God. Peace, Linda

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