I’ve spent my life thinking but not fully convinced
that no one really likes me
not even God, who it is said loves everyone

And I’ve often been fairly convinced
that my mom didn’t love me
though deep down I know she did

It’s not true, yet this persistent thought
has colored much of what I do
and what I don’t do

How long did I desire to be
a writer, but didn’t write
for anyone else to read

I’ve hidden away pages of prose and poetry
thoughts and feelings
that I now know others could relate to

How many opportunities to bless others
have I neglected because I undervalued
my own contribution to this world

I know I am loved
I am beloved by God
I am cherished by family

Nonetheless, even now sometimes
I think nobody really likes me
not even God


The NaPoWriMo prompt for today is to write a poem with a line you are afraid to write. There are a few in this poem. I am afraid for others to know my doubt and fears. But this was good practice for writing my memoir, because that thing is going to include a lot of lines I’m afraid to write.

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.


21 Responses

    • I think it’s important at such times to remember what we know to be true — we are loved — and not let feelings get the best of us. Easier said than done.

  1. I think we all feel like this at times I know I have! I’m happy you are now sharing these words because as a writer, I don’t think you can grow unless you do share your words with others. Wonderful!

  2. I think that we all have those feelings of being unloved/undesirable/invaluable. Good to know that we are loved…even when we don’t feel it.

    • Thanks. I do know that, but the thought otherwise nonetheless rears its head at times. I suppose in part I wrote this for those who do not know, to see that they are not alone and are also loved.

  3. You’ve really put it out there in this poem. I too would add a heart here — but do not know how to do that….but consider this smile face full of love 🙂

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