Impossible Madness

Why does it feel like I’ve lost you
when you aren’t even dead?

Why am I the only one
who wants to make amends?

Why does it have to be so hard
after all these years?

Maybe it’s the tears
mine and yours, and theirs,
that makes breathing and living
loving and forgiving so impossible

I guess sometimes families and madness
can’t survive one another

Because that’s what you are, you know,
mad, or crazy, or mentally ill
whatever you want to call it

It’s torn us apart
because you don’t understand
why they can’t begin to comprehend
what’s going on inside your head

It’s torn us—you and me—apart
because you’ve convinced yourself
that I don’t at all understand
what’s going on inside your head

You forget I’ve been there
that those crazy, mad thoughts
have been inside my head, too

But then you’ve forgotten a lot of things
all the times I was there for you
just to listen
and the times you were there for me

My greatest desire is to forgive
and to be forgiven
to live and laugh and love again
to mend what has been torn asunder
to heal the thoughts inside your head

But right now, in this moment
it feels like you might as well be dead
at least that would be easier to live with

About Linda Kruschke

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.
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14 Responses to Impossible Madness

  1. We seem to go through those impossible situations from time to time.. Sometimes it just take time, sometimes it’s time to move on. Very real felt.

  2. Myrna Rosa says:

    Very sad situation. But a relationship takes 2 people. You can’t do it alone. I wish you the best.

  3. This is a very difficult situation to be in. Wishing you patience and inspiration

  4. Alex Dissing says:

    I know this exact feeling. I’m going through it right now, actually, with someone who I thought was a pillar in my life. It feels like that person is now gone, though… Depression makes people selfish, it isn’t anything you’ve done. But it’s still very painful to see a relationship that has stood so strong for so long can come crashing down in an instant… I hope writing this was therapeutic for you. It was therapeutic for me just reading it.

  5. C.C. says:

    Such strong words with so much emotion evident within them.

  6. Dusty Writes says:

    I can SO relate.

  7. dkirkstokes says:

    I have a dear friend who is there, right now. I ache to help her, but only perseverance will get her through. Life awaits on the other side.

  8. You can’t help someone who thinks absolutely no one can understand them… You have to let people hit rock bottom sometimes, no matter how hard it is…

  9. kanzensakura says:

    Such a deep from the heart poem. when communication stops, it is so hard for both parties to be willing to communicate again. So very sad.

  10. Grace says:

    That’s a tough situation to be in ~ I can imagine the challenges to understand the madness, listen & be there for the person ~

  11. billgncs says:

    I think when communication breaks down, or when it cannot happen – that those times are deeply painful.

  12. This is heartfelt, Linda.

  13. Mary says:

    I understand the feeling, Linda. It, unfortunately, is not possible to ‘mend what has been torn asunder’ if the other person is not willing to. Hopefully things will change in time….but…sometimes they just don’t, and there is nothing that one can do about it. Sad.

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