My Writing Lament

Last week, I attended the West Coast Christian Writers Conference in Roseville, California. I loved being only an attendee at a writers conference again. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do with Cascade Christian Writers (formerly Oregon Christian Writers), but it was nice to be a participant with no expectations of what I needed to do.

At this recent conference, I signed up for the optional extra day with a CREW group. CREW is an acronym for Connection, Refinement, Equipping, and Wisdom. I got all that and more in my CREW.

I signed up with author and agent Mary DeMuth, but she had to cancel at the last minute due to illness. I was disappointed at first, but delighted when I got the news that author and agent Bob Hostetler would fill in for Mary and teach the material on “Deep Internal Work for Publishing Success” that Mary had prepared.

My Favorite Part

One of the exercises we did during our CREW group meeting was to write a lament. Mary had created a template or outline of a lament based on Psalm 13. Although I cried when I read the lament I penned out loud to the group, doing so cleared my mind for the two full days of classes and appointments ahead. I shared my heart with God and He answered with His peace.

I decided to share what I wrote here with you all. This is, after all, my favorite place to share poetry. So here it is.

My Writing Lament

O LORD, my God, why have You laid upon my heart,
Why have You given me this story to tell?
Why have You caused me to experience so much
     trauma, grief, and heartbreak?
Why have You given me the desire to be published
And then not opened any doors to publication of my memoir?
Why did You raise my hopes by giving me victory
     in the OCW Cascade contest
Only to dash those hopes on the rocks of time,
Upon the rocks of rejection after rejection
Filled with faint praise, damning praise
     of my writing—but rejection nonetheless?
Why have You let the pages and pages I have written
     to Your glory languish in obscurity?
How will I encourage others with my writing
        if You don’t come to my aid?
        if You don’t open a door?
        if You don’t find me a publisher willing 
            to take a risk with my story?
LORD God, I beseech You to hear my prayer,
     to open a door to publication.
Find for me a publisher who believes in me.
Introduce me to an acquisitions editor who loves my story.
Get me through committee to a contract this year.

LORD, You know I trust in Your goodness.
I know You are sovereign,
Your name is Compassionate One.
Even in my darkest days, You are my true Light.

LORD, I praise You, for You are holy.
You alone are worthy of honor.
Enthroned in Your majesty
     You remember me.
You are my God, now and forevermore.