What If?
What if I had told someone
from the very start?
What if I had not believed
the shame deep in my heart?
If I had been brave and bold
and turned my rapist in
today I would not fear the cold
and justice I might win
If I’d stayed the straight and narrow
and avoided future harm
I’d not have conceived a baby
Who’ll never grace my arms
And yet if things were different
If I’d taken a different path
Would I have a compassionate bent
in suffering’s aftermath?
What if the past were dissimilar
to what my life has been?
Would I have the nuclear
family I love so dear?
What if I had not gone that day
unknowingly into harm’s way?
Everything I know would change
and life would be so strange
What if? I will never know
I can only live this life and grow
in faith and mercy for others who
will never know What if? too
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That NaPoWriMo.net prompt for today is to write a poem about what might be. I was going to write a poem about what might happen if a publisher offers me a contract on my memoir, but then went a different direction with a poem of what might have been.
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Oh, this stanza:
“And yet if things were different
If I’d taken a different path
Would I have a compassionate bent
in suffering’s aftermath?”
I am so sorry about your suffering, and about your baby.
Thanks. It’s the life I’ve lived and I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant not having what I do now.
Thanks for writing these poems this month and sharing them with us. I just feel like God is working in them. Like a poetry chapbook companion to your memoir. :). And this poem reminded me of the “all things working for good” verse.
That’s a good idea, a companion chapbook. Thanks.
Loved the take on the prompt.
Thanks.