For the past week or so, I have had the song The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley stuck in my head. Particularly this part:
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again
I’ve been tryin’ to get down
to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about…forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.
There is something more I want to say about forgiveness than what I wrote in my first blog on the subject, but whenever I try to pin it down “my thoughts seem to scatter.” I thought I understood forgiveness and had learned the lesson of how important it is. I’ve tried hard to forgive others whenever I realize I am angry.
It seems that anger is a much more natural thing than forgiveness, even anger at myself. But I also know that anger will eat you up inside. I’ve repeated many times the saying “anger is like acid; it does more harm to a vessel it’s stored in than an object it’s poured on.” I know this to be true, yet I’m having to learn it again. Maybe this time it will stick.