The Art of Revision

“Pick a different word,” she wrote
“This word appears 44 times in this manuscript.
Use your thesaurus.”

So I change pain to anguish or misery
Substitute torment for suffering
Replace anger with outrage
Switch adore for love

Editing is about changing
yet saying the same


De Jackson is calling for some change dVerse Poets Pubfor the first Quadrille Monday of the year at . With editing on my mind—having just yesterday finished addressing my freelance editor’s comments to my memoir manuscript—I thought this was a perfect Quadrille word. Head on over to dVerse to see what other changes are happening.

About Linda Kruschke

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.
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50 Responses to The Art of Revision

  1. Interesting application of the theme. Sometimes I deliberately repeat a word, especially in two adjoining lines, for emphasis, and often in two different contexts. But as a rule, I suppose “variety is the spice of life.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah the joys of editing, I love your take on the prompt Linda xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nora says:

    Thank you for the chuckle with my morning coffee. I especially love your image choice. Something is afoot, a pied a terre, en pointe here.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kim881 says:

    An interesting take on the prompt, Linda. I’ve loved my thesaurus since I received it as a Christmas present from my mother when I was at school. Your final lines are so true!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Frank Hubeny says:

    Good observation about editing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. wildchild47 says:

    absolutely clever poem here – and definitely a building blocks lesson! well done – and points noted and taken –
    loved the fresh perspective for this quadrille – it crosses over beyond just being a 44 snippet!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Haha. I like this take on the prompt. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Candy says:

    Oh, YES! You have captured the agony of changing

    Liked by 1 person

  9. sanaarizvi says:

    Gorgeously written, Linda!! ❤❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Grace says:

    I like what you did Linda. Great attitude towards life.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Glenn Buttkus says:

    Sometimes while reviewing older poetry, I’ll find favorite phrases and words that leap up like mushrooms after a rain.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Some of my favorite poems have become pieces of prose in my memoir. One in particular, called A Betrayal of Roses, fit so perfectly in the scene I was writing. But then my editor said I repeated “roses” too many times for prose. Harumph.


  12. Love how you got your point across – an excellent remodeling!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. msjadeli says:

    I love the way you used the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Beverly Crawford says:

    What a perky little poem, filled with truth … truisms … verity … oh well!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. rob kistner says:

    Seems true in human beings as well Linda. Sometimes all the editing in the world only leaves them the same… which might be as it should!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. qbit says:

    ““This word appears 44 times in this manuscript.” — very subtle, love it. I think we all live in, it was great to see that as your image.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. It’s funny, but there’s a shadow underneath it. Love that word exchange stanza. Great take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. lillian says:

    Clever take on the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Larry Who says:

    My favorite editor’s note to me: “It’s bad enough that you end so many sentences with a preposition, but when you ended this sentence with two prepositions, I wanted to bark all over your manuscript.”

    It helps to have a sense of humor and a thick skin if you’re a writer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thankfully my editor’s critical feedback was balanced with the comments on language she found beautiful and “perfect!” Maybe not a perfect balance, but enough to help me make it through.

      By the way, I can’t wait for you to get to read it. I’m quite happy with how it’s shaping up.


  20. welshstream says:

    That’s a nifty take on the prompt … sometimes the easy-go-to word doesn’t really capture the raft of options out there .. if you can lay your hand too them!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. lifelessons says:

    I’m constantly going back to poems I wrote weeks or years ago and finding repeated words..and changing, changing.


    • In poetry, and even in prose, I think repeated words can sometimes be good for emphasis. But there are limits, and I crossed those limits a lot in my memoir manuscript. 😉


      • lifelessons says:

        I agree. But in a short poem, unless for effect, repetition seems like laziness. There are certain innocuous words I use again and again… like filler words to flesh out meter…that I also have to cull out.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I might print this out and tag it to my wall. Fantastic use of the prompt by the way. I love that sudden change in the last line of the second stanza. Anger, anguish, torment, then love. It works beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. V.J. Knutson says:

    Yes it is – a poem everyone us can no doubt relate to.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. It’s a fair point though. Especially if the word is ‘smirk’ or ‘chuckle’. I could think of others 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Ha.. love it… no big fan of editing myself… but it has to be done.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. whimsygizmo says:

    How perfect! I love your nod to the “44 times.” 😉 A fun Quadrille, Linda.

    Liked by 1 person

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