I Never Said Goodbye

January is the cruelest month
despite it’s shimmer of hope
It’s when cancer took you
I was twenty-three
Hadn’t yet made amends
for the pain I caused you
Still drowning in my own
Your death only added
to the shame
of not measuring up

________________________________

This quadrille is doing double duty today. It includes the dVerse Poets Pub word prompt from Victoria and offers my thoughts on the cruelest month for the NaPoWriMo prompt.

About Linda Kruschke

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend. My blood family is only part of the larger family of Christ that I belong to. I love to write, especially about my dear Savior.
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35 Responses to I Never Said Goodbye

  1. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 4 – “The Truth In The Triviality” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. An open expression of the pain you must have felt. I lost my dad when I was 22. The unresolved becomes a huge part of the grief. As we grow older, we hopefully begin to measure ourselves according to our own expectations and morals. In a way, I’m sure that some of these have trickled down from our loved ones. From heaven, they look on. Hugs to you Linda.

  3. Bryan Ens says:

    A sad story. Those regrets for which we can’t make amends can be the hardest to bear.

  4. Compelling piece. So much said in 44 words. Well done.

  5. ava says:

    Oh wow, I love the last six lines. This is powerful.

  6. Mama Zen says:

    This is incredibly powerful.

  7. kim881 says:

    There is nothing as poignant as the shimmer of sadness, Linda. Full of emotion.

  8. Candy says:

    so much pain expressed in this – hope it helps you heal

  9. lynn__ says:

    Expressing the pain helps heal, I think…my heart aches for yours, reading this, Linda.

  10. kanzensakura says:

    This is truly one of your best. It so resonates with me. The depth of feeling in this is amazing. Well done Linda.

  11. Linda, sad, but so beautiful! I want to share one of my poems with you with the hopes it will bring a smile to you. Sending blankets of spiritual love, hugs, and grace your way.

    Butterflies

    Whenever I see the butterflies flying
    I am reminded of your smiling face,
    As I see them taking wing into the sky
    I feel emotions which are never displaced

    For in my heart also live the butterflies
    As they come to life within me each day
    While I count the different memories of you
    Which in my thoughts and dreams will stay

    The brightness of their many vibrant colors
    Produce a vivid rainbow deep within my mind
    Which fills my heart with such unwavering joy
    Allowing me to enjoy them for an endless time

    The butterflies will be my deepest treasure
    Leaving me never again feeling the same
    As the peace they bring to me cannot be measured
    For on their wings are imprinted your name

    Wendell A. Brown,

    • That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing. With my mom, it’s bald eagles. She always loved bald eagles and when I see them I think of her, free from the pain of cancer.

  12. Leonas Lines says:

    So very sad. My sympathy to you. I chose January as my cruel month also, but for a different reason. You can read here if you like: http://leonaslines.com/2016/04/04/january/

  13. This caused tears to well up in my eyes. Whew.

  14. I relate to this, when I lost my Mom. Thank you for sharing this deep, personal emotion

    • I’m sorry for your loss. Even though we know our parents will most likely die before us, and we wouldn’t want them to have to suffer losing their kids first, it’s still hard.

  15. ShirleyB says:

    Raw, heart-breaking emotion. But she knows, you know.

  16. Bodhirose says:

    Very cruel month to be left unable to clear the air between two people before it’s too late. But actually I believe it’s never too late to make peace with yourself.

  17. Grace says:

    This can be truly painful…thanks Linda ~

  18. whimsygizmo says:

    This is truly heartbreaking, Linda. Well penned.

  19. Well done you on combining the two. I’m still working on my NaPoWriMo Prompt. For some reason I’m find today tricky.
    You’ve done a great job though. So succinct and heartbreaking.

  20. So sad–that sense of losing someone without saying what needed to be said. But we know, he knows (I am assuming it is your brother)

  21. Oh you took me there… wonderful…

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