Hummingbird
The prompt at dVerse Poets Pub today is offered by guest Patti Wolf. She’s asked us to step outside and capture a moment in nature, to write “microworld” poetry. Since I’ve been at work all day and it’s pouring rain, I stepped into my memory bank of sitting peacefully on my flower-filled back deck last week while on vacation. And as a bonus, I decided to try my first haiku.
Hummingbird
Darting bloom to bloom
Purple petunia nectar
Sip, sip, zip, he’s gone
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Lovely! The last line made me smile Zip! gone! Bird!
Tiny yet fierce
Claiming the feeder alone
Great heart knows no size
You did well. non-traditional will work. I am such a doofus, when I do my haiku, I beat out the syllables using my fingers. the thing that throws me are the things ending in “ia”…we pronounce pe-tun-ya but it counts out to pe-tu-nee-ah…..but the hummingbird zips and sips and zips most beautifully in this. You did great!!! and petunia could have been a season word in the first line because of when it blooms – that’s another thought for season words. I love hearing the up close and personal you had.
According to Dictionary.com petunia is three syllables — I looked it up to be sure and I count on my fingers, too. Yet the original post had an extra verb in the middle line — the word cede — because apparently I don’t count well.
You said it all in three short lines..and I love to get close to them..
So love hummingbirds. One year on Easter we were in Palm Desert and a beautiful, pure white hummingbird visited our feeder. He hung around for the rest of spring. For me, it was a special gift. There are photos of him on my website. My blog, too. Somewhere. Peace back at you.
Linda, here’s the URL with photos: https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/special-post-leucistic-hummingbird/
Sherry wrote about the hummingbirds as well. i was telling her that there are quite a few that visit with me on the back porch. They are quite curious, probably more so than my cat. They are funny though darting here and there. Nice movement in your verse. Fun.
A week or so ago I had one buzz up behind me but when I tried to swivel my chair to see him, he was gone. But then last week I got to watch one from flower to flower. Very beautiful.
I went with a hummingbird too – loved your poem, it darts just like they do!
I will come check yours out, too.
They are definitely quick!! (By the way, the Teriyaki corned beef wasn’t half bad!)
The sip,sip, zip describe the little hummingbird so well.
Hummingbirds please.. airwaves
for me.. singing zinging
‘copter wings.. of small
joy are they.. in nectar
songs of purple
flight..:)
A lovely and lively haiku, Linda! If you want the traditional syllable count, the second line should be only 7 but…non-tradional may be your choice 🙂
Well apparently I can’t count! I was so focused on how many syllables petunias was that I counted the line as a whole wrong. I suppose the second line could be “Purple petunia nectar.”
I like that change, Linda 🙂 …and I believe you ARE fearless!
LOL… you captured it. They are beautiful. Aren’t they.
Yes, and fast!
I admire the active verbs – darting, sip, sip, zip ~ Congrats on writing the first haiku ~
Thanks for participating ~
I really liked this!