It never leaves
the pain, the heartache
of losing one so dear
Or one who should have been dear
but for youth and shame
that kept me
from truly knowing
and being known by you
I hid so much from you
I didn’t let you be there for me
as a mom should be
It’s not your fault
I know that now
but then I was afraid
I would disappoint you
Even at 23 your love
seemed scarce
but was only hidden
behind my own doubts and fears
If you were here today
I would tell you how much I love you
I’d share the love of Jesus with you
tell you how He opened my eyes
to your love that I could never see
I would celebrate with you
I’d make you your favorite pecan pie
with fresh whipped cream for your birthday
just as you always made my favorite
lemon meringue for my birthday
We’d marvel that you made it 90 years
But you didn’t, so we won’t
I’ll just miss you like I always do
___________________________________
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