I wrote the first part of this poem in July 1996 in my journal. I was looking back at some of my old poetry, most of which is quite depressing. Not surprising since I was quite depressed at the time I wrote it.
But as I read over this poem, I realized that it was not finished. I am no longer in that place “outside square one.” I decided it was time to finish the poem.
The part of the poem in red was written in 1996. The part of the poem in blue I wrote this past weekend, though the events that the latter part is based on happened many years ago.
Outside Square One
Here I stand outside square one
With my back to it, I want to run
Here I stand outside square one
Looking in, I see a narrow path
Leading to square two
Square two is where I want to be
It’s full of happiness and security
But I cannot reach square two
By standing here outside square one
With my back turned to it
What if I take the wrong path?
Travel through square one
To a square less than none?
What if I end up in a place
Where I can’t even see square one?
Where only sadness and insecurity reside
Where I feel lost and empty inside?
Will I find my way back here
To stand outside square one?
Full of fear to step inside
Wanting only to run?
Could I see in, step in
And follow the narrow path to square two?
Then I see Him; His face shines bright
He calls to me of peace and light
“Follow Me and fear will flee.
Come to Me and you will see.”
The path is clear from one to two
And on beyond to a square
called Three
The square where I truly want to be
Where hope and faith, love and joy
Will never leave me
And I no longer want to run
I am in the presence of the Son,
My Father, and the Holy One