The Saving Grace of Jello
I don’t really know what cancer is, but mom’s in the hospital having surgery because she has it. I think that’s what Aunt Barb had and she died. I hope mom doesn’t die, too.
We’re visiting her today. She might be ready to come home, but I’m not sure. I hope so. She’s in a nice private hospital. Her room is almost homey with wood trim and soft lighting, not sterile like a typical hospital room. She’s sitting up in bed, propped up with pillows behind her. Her noon meal sits half eaten on the portable tray; she was always a slow eater, but this hospital food seems to have caused her to pick even more than usual. I climb up on the bed next to her and eye what’s left. “Can I have your Jello?” I ask. A half smile crosses her lips as she reckons I can help her clean her plate. “I have to eat it all before I can go home,” she says.
I wasn’t there the last time she went into the hospital. That time it was colon cancer. No one called to tell me she’d been admitted again or how bad it was, so I wasn’t there to eat her Jello. Maybe if I had been she could have come home again.
Rays of summer sun
Overshadowed by dark pall
Cancer beckons death
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It’s Haibun Monday at dVerse Poets Pub and guest host Lady Nyo is calling for haibuns involving a childhood memory. If it was May or August, I might have conjured up a happy memory to share. But it’s January and I’m missing my mom so this is what I’ve got for today.
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Such a well written Haibun…I loved it and it hurt…this line was just too much and I cried… “I wasn’t there to eat her Jello. Maybe if I had been she could have come home again”
Thanks. I cried when I wrote it, too.
Glad to hear it. Beautiful line.
Really well structured, with that jello. The last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. This is one of your very best pieces.
Thank you. I’ve been working on improving my writing to be more descriptive. I appreciate the feedback that it’s paying off.
Interesting how the mind of a child can make those associations. How old were you?
I was 7 or 8. I don’t remember exactly. She had cancer twice when I was young and it all kind of blurs together, but the Jello stands out in my mind.
Wow. I am sure that jello has never been ‘just jello’ to you after this experience. It would always be laden with such beautiful meaning for you to treasure as you hold your mom close in memory during the times you miss her most.
Such a sad story and you tell it beautifully from the child’s perspective with the detail that stood out for you.
Wonderful story, sad but oh so memorable and deeply moving to you whenever you think about it, I am sure!
Sad and written very well.
This is just so poignant – and very, very powerful image of the jello, a hugely significant detail.
Thanks. I’m learning it’s the details that make for good writing.
You put us right there with you as a child…so sweet and endearing amidst the seriousness of cancer. I liked the half smile of your mother as she allowed you to have that jello.
Thank you for sharing this painful memory. It was beautifully written.
Ah — this is beautiful. Simple and profound at the same time.
Gripping poetry here. I can sense the emotions behind this. It’s always the little things (jello) that can make memories so much stronger.
Thanks. Now of I could only write with such emotion without feeling it again.
I suspect parents should always tell their children what is happening to them so they don’t feel abandoned even when they are older. I will try to remember to do that thanks to your haibun.
Very sad and touching story ~ Hospital food can be so bad but a jello to a child is delicious ~ Maybe, maybe she could ~ Thanks for sharing this Linda.
Whoa, Linda. I had to take a deep breath to stop the tears. How wonderfully you have written this haibun! The detail of jello works so well here. Heartbreaking especially as she didn’t come home. January seems to be a month of these sad memories. Blessings to you.
Yes, January is hard for me. She died on Jan 3, 29 years ago.
I thought you told and wrote this so well. It beautiful the way our childhood minds worked isn’t it.
Thank you. I actually repurposed this from a piece of the memoir I’m working on. I appreciate the positive feedback.
Hugs. You shared this so well.
Thanks.
Really sad,so sorry.
What a terrible sad story.. the focus on the jelly makes this such a strong story… so strange the things we do remember.