Another dVerse challenge I couldn’t resist. Victoria has called us to action, to use verbs to improve our poetry. She suggested taking an older poem and rewriting it to replace any tired “to be” verbs with action verbs. I took an extremely old one of mine, from before I posted a single blog post, and spruced it up a bit.
Words Lurk
Words hole up in my pen
only ink
Words lurk in dark recesses
of my mind
I wrestle with sleep
as words swirl and dance
playing word games
The sun arises, beams into my room
I struggle to recall and record the dance
The words hide, again
in the dark recesses
like the hole-in-the-wall gang
They desire freedom
to live in the light
yet fear entraps them
What will others think
if they reveal their dance?
In lines and curves of black
shining on the glaring white?
Lingering but in darkness
remains safer
And here is the original for comparison:
Words That Hide
Words are hiding in the ink
deep within my pen
Words are hiding in the dark
deep within my mind
I know they are there
because I see them when I try to sleep
They run around in circles
Playing their word games
And keeping me awake
But when the sun comes up
and I try to write them down
They hide again within my pen
and deep within my mind
In the dark within my mind
I know they want to come out and play
But they are afraid
At night in bed they feel safe
Playing in my mind
What will others think of them
If they play upon a page?
In lines and curves of black
Shining on the glaring white
It seems much safer just to hide
Within my pen
Within my mind
In the dark within my mind