Love Means Never Having to Hear “I’m Sorry”
Many years ago if you had asked me what my favorite movie of all time was, I would have said Love Story with Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal. It was a touching story of two people who fall in love, but their life together is tragically cut short when they learn that Jenny (played by MacGraw) has leukemia and will soon die. The famous line from the movie is “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
This week I’ve been thinking about what love means. Not romantic love as portrayed in this movie, but agape love, the kind of love that Christ calls us to have for our neighbors and even our enemies. The thought occurred to me that this kind of love means never having to hear “I’m sorry.” Jesus said that we should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Matthew 5:44. He did not say we could first wait for our enemies to say they are sorry for the wrongs they have done before we love and pray for them.
Peter, in his first letter to the Christians scattered among various provinces, wrote: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV). Proverbs 10:12 (NIV) says, “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” Love covers over sins because it forgives without having to first hear an apology. Love puts aside anger and hatred, and forgives.
As humans, this is a difficult task. As Christians, it is essential, but no less challenging. We deal every day with non-believers who do not know anything about agape love. Forgiveness is not the first thing on their mind and love of enemies is not the most important thing in their hearts. Asking for forgiveness — saying they are sorry for the hurts they have caused, the mean things they have said, the lies they have told — is not in their nature. But if we, as Christians, do not forgive them anyway, love them anyway, pray for them anyway, how will they ever know agape love? If we refuse to forgive, to love, without having to hear “I’m sorry” then they will not see Christ in us.
We love because He first loved us. We forgive because He first forgave us. Being loved and forgiven by God is the best feeling in the whole world. We should share that feeling with others by loving them, and forgiving them, without having to hear “I’m sorry.” Jesus did not wait for those around Him as He hung on the cross to say “I’m sorry” before He asked His Father in Heaven to forgive them. And what was the reason He asked that they be forgiven? Because they did not know what they were doing. Luke 23:34.
Often those who hurt us don’t really know what they are doing. They have been deceived by a world that teaches selfishness and self-preservation above all else. Especially if someone does not know God, they have nothing to rely on but themselves and often the hurtful things they do or say are just a way of protecting themselves in a bitter and difficult world. It is up to us as Christians to show them love and forgiveness, and trust in God to love and forgive us, and to take care of the outcome of the situation.
My son introduced me to the Christian band Skillet. One of my favorite songs of theirs is “Forgiven.” It is a reminder that I, too, have sinned. I have not always shown love and forgiveness. I have strayed from God. And yet, I am forgiven. One of my favorite parts of the song is:
All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven
Time and time again, God has forgiven each of us and has loved us. It is the greatest love story ever told, and it’s not fiction. Shouldn’t we offer that same love and forgiveness to others? Shouldn’t we share the story of God’s love with those around us? Divine love means never having to hear “I’m sorry.” As Christ dwells in us, He gives us the power to show His Divine Love to those around us as the love story continues for the furtherance of His Kingdom.
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This was really good. We just have to let it all go, and forgive. I am so thankful that we can go to the Lord and ask Him to help us.
Blessings,
Theresa
Theresa, Yes, it is wonderful that we can go to Him for help in forgiving and loving. I was doing that a bit last week! So glad He is faithful if we just ask for help. I hope all is well down your way. I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you with all the storms. Peace, Linda
Thanks, Linda
“As Christ dwells in us, He gives us the power to show His Divine Love to those around us as the love story continues for the furtherance of His Kingdom.”
I used to sing a (secular) song in which the writer expressed his desire to know what love is. I didn’t pay much attention to the passion or the lyrics, it was a feel good song so I sang along.
When I entered into relationship with Christ, I started to experience a different kind of love. It was just the strangest thing. What I thought was love all along paled in comparison to what He showed me.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder today. It’s great to know that love does not stand on it’s own. If we truly love, we ought to live it.
This is a wonderful post, Linda. Praying we’ll do more than just lip service in the business of loving.
Blessings,
ann
Ann, His love is indeed different than any other love I encountered before I knew Him! Thank you for the prayer. I want to live out His love and not just pay it lip service, too. Peace, Linda
This post really spoke to me, Linda. Thank you so much. It’s the basic thing we know . . .to love, to forgive, to not expect sorry or love or forgiveness in return or first. Living that out sometimes looks differently than reading it and knowing it in my head. Living it must come from the Holy Spirit.
I wrote something yesterday in the comments here and this was like God’s reminder to me of how to go forward in it. I needed reminded that someone who doesn’t know Him can only act out of what they do know . . .self preservation.
And I just read this in a little booklet on prayer:
“What would happen if we followed literally Jesus’ command to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us? How would it affect the reputation of Christians in [our country] if we became known not for our access to the [parliament] but for our access to heaven on behalf of those who strenuously, even violently, disagree with us?”
Philip Yancey
God bless you as He loves through you today!
p.s. smiling that the little poem I sent into to Idylls is up today, in combination with your post, thanks to Him. 🙂
Deb, The circumstance that prompted this post was a lesson of this very thing for me: “someone who doesn’t know Him can only act out of what they do know . . .self preservation.” I have a good friend who once said that all actions stem from either love or fear. May our actions towards those who know only fear show them that there is an alternative, and that is the Divine Love of Christ. It is difficult to live this out, though, day in and day out, because I think sometimes even we act out of fear, at least I know I do. But that fear should never stop us from praying for them, just as your wonderful Philip Yancey quote says. Peace, Linda
Linda,
His marvelous love and grace says it all. Wonderful post. May you feel His peace and love as you journey in the week ahead. Blessings, April
April, Thanks for the wonderful prayer! May you feel His peace and love as well. Peace, Linda
Linda –
I really enjoyed this post. I so often need to be reminded to love and forgive. To pray for those who are “my enemies.” This is ever so appropriate today in light of the news, too. Thank you, Elizabeth
Elizabeth, When I scheduled this post I had no idea what the big news of the day would be, but you are right. It is an appropriate post under the circumstances. I wonder what would happen if Christians everywhere prayed for our terrorist enemies instead of hating them? Perhaps even the heard of Osama Bin Laden could have been changed. Peace, Linda